I Don’t Care: How to Respond with Facts Not Feelings
There’s a reason the phrase “I don’t care.” is bullshit. You do care. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t feel the need to say it. What you really mean or want to mean is, “I care, but it will not make me behave any differently because you don’t approve of what I’m doing or who I am.” It’s the use of logic over emotion, a trait I recently mastered after practicing self-isolation for a month.
Maya Lynne Robinson giving side eye to a stop sign.
Here are the steps I took:
If you did not have to know my immediate whereabouts, you didn’t know them. The fewer people I tell my business to, the better. The more people know your plans, the more likely they are to accidentally, or on purpose, fuck up your plans. (This is a late-night blog post, so it’s getting real over here, lol.)
I got still to get clear. Too many opinions from the peanut gallery had me second and third-guessing my choices. I was going against my intuition because people with certificates and qualifications to advise me weren’t for me. Instead of sitting with the advice and taking what resonates and leaving what doesn’t, I took all the advice because I didn’t allow myself to take a moment and think about the effects of their advice.
I switched up my routine. This included switching everything from my mindset to the tasks and what time and order I did things every day. My comfort zone is where dreams go to die, and I no longer want predictability in my routine.
I traveled more. I have made it my duty to leave the city once a month. Whether it’s a staycation an hour away or across the world, I talk to strangers, and we become friends. I have open and honest discussions about our differing beliefs and opinions. This choice has helped me most in not taking it personally when others don’t “get me.”
So, the next time you find yourself saying, I don’t care, think about if that statement and way of thinking are true. If you don’t care, I need you to care and, first and foremost, practice self-care. You matter, and that is the opinion of the most significant importance. The trick is to train yourself to respond with facts, not feelings.
